Why I No Longer Try to Keep Up With Everyone Else

When I was younger, I used to think there was a certain timeline I needed to follow. I wanted to be successful, have the perfect body, a beautiful home, travel, build a great wardrobe and somehow achieve everything at once.

Over the years, I realised how exhausting this way of thinking can be.

The older I get, the more I understand that there is no single definition of a successful life. We all have different experiences, priorities and timelines. These days, I am much more interested in building a life that actually makes me happy rather than trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing.

Here are seven things that helped me get there.

1. I Stopped Comparing My Timeline to Other People’s

I moved alone from Latvia to the UK when I was only 15 years old. Since then, I have lived in three different countries and gathered so many experiences and wonderful memories along the way.

At the same time, I am 32 now and still not married. Marriage is something many people around my age already have, and it is something I would like for myself too. It can be very easy to look around and wonder whether you are somehow behind.

But my timeline is simply different.

When I look back at everything I have experienced since leaving Latvia, I wouldn’t want to erase those years just so my life could look more similar to somebody else’s. Some people find their person early, some focus on their career, some travel and some take a completely different path.

There really isn’t one timeline we all need to follow.

2. I Realised I Don’t Need Everything at Once

For a long time, I felt like I had to strive to be “perfect”. The perfect body, successful job, beautiful wardrobe, perfectly decorated home, expensive furniture and, of course, to be well travelled.

Honestly, it became exhausting.

Over the years, I have learnt to take one step at a time. I started making more conscious choices with fashion and my home instead of feeling like I needed everything immediately. This is something I also talk about in 10 Things I Stopped Buying That Made Life Simpler.

I have taken the same approach with fitness by setting smaller goals over the years, and I have never been in better shape.

Looking back at the last three years, I actually think I am the most motivated and disciplined I have ever been. Taking one step at a time has somehow made me more productive, not less.

3. I Became More Selective About What Success Means to Me

I used to think success meant trying to be perfect at everything. Sometimes I would focus obsessively on one part of my life, like getting into great shape, while everything else seemed to be left behind.

These days, I try to find much more balance.

My work is very important to me and I genuinely love what I do, but so are the other parts of my life. Cooking, exercising, spending time with family and friends and having time for myself all matter.

Sometimes my own time means playing the violin, doing my skincare, listening to music or simply relaxing.

I have learnt that this time counts too. For me, success is becoming more about balancing the different parts of my life and treating myself well along the way.

4. I Stopped Treating Ordinary Life Like Something to Escape From

I can honestly say that I love my ordinary life.

I enjoy my first morning coffee, seeing fresh flowers on my table and getting ready for work while choosing an outfit that makes me feel good. I love my job, going to the gym afterwards and coming home to cook a healthy meal.

None of this is particularly exciting, but together it creates a routine I genuinely enjoy.

Most importantly, I don’t push myself to do everything every day. After a while, these things simply became habits. I sometimes even miss my normal routine when I go on holiday! 😀

I wrote more about this in 10 Small Things That Make Everyday Life Feel Special, because I really believe that enjoying the ordinary days makes such a difference.

5. I Buy Things When They Make Sense for My Life

Interestingly, although I earn more money now than ever before, I actually spend more carefully.

I don’t make as many impulse purchases anymore. I stop and think about whether I really need something, whether I will use it and whether it makes sense for my life.

I have also become much more aware of how easily social media can influence us. Suddenly everyone has the same bag, shoes or home decoration, and we start thinking we need it too.

But trends eventually change.

Now I would rather invest in things that genuinely matter to me. It doesn’t mean I never treat myself — I definitely do! I have just become much more conscious about why I am buying something.

6. I Protect More of My Time

There was a time when I could spend hours scrolling on my phone without even noticing. When I finally saw how much time I was spending on it every day, I knew something needed to change.

These days, I am barely on my phone after I come home from work.

Instead, I might bake while listening to music, go for a long walk, meet friends or have a relaxing bath. I talked about reducing my phone time in 10 Everyday Habits That Make My Home Feel Calm, and it is still one of the best habits I have created.

Now I sometimes completely forget about my phone because there are so many other things I would rather invest my time and energy in.

And when you spend less time watching everyone else’s life through a screen, you suddenly have much more time for your own.

7. I Am Learning to Enjoy the Life I Have While Still Wanting More

Don’t get me wrong, enjoying my life doesn’t mean I have stopped wanting more from it.

Actually, all of these changes have made me more productive and given me more space for new things.

When my grandmother passed away last year, she left me a large collection of recipe books. I started thinking about how I could put them to use instead of simply leaving them on a shelf. That became part of the inspiration behind starting Simple Ways Living.

What started with my grandmother’s recipes has now become another project and hobby that I genuinely enjoy.

And I don’t plan to stop there.

Even with work, exercise, cooking, family, friends and everything else in my life, I somehow feel like I have more time for new ambitions than I did when I was constantly trying to keep up.

My Life Doesn’t Need to Look Like Anyone Else’s

I still compare myself sometimes. I think most of us probably do.

The difference is that now I recognise it much more quickly.

I can appreciate what someone else has without deciding that I need exactly the same thing, at exactly the same time.

I still have plenty of goals for my future. But I am also learning that enjoying what I already have doesn’t make me less ambitious.

You can be grateful for your life today and still be excited about everything you want to create tomorrow.